Finally Learned How To Add A Picture :)

             I don't like hugs, I never did and I never will but if this happened, I might just have to give in. :)

The First Guy I Ever Cried Over

Freshman year of high school I walked down the hall to my final class of the day, English.  I sat down in my assigned seat next to my friend Alan and a bunch of new faces.  I looked back and this guy with short blond hair that was a total tooth pick and turned back to listen to the teacher.  Near the end of class we had to turn in the assignment she gave us, a book scavenger hunt, I couldn't find the last question so I turned around to the toothpick boy and asked him what the answer was.  His fat friend across from him told me "Can't you see were talking here? God."  I just turned around clearly these aren't the kind of class helpers but then the toothpick boy spoke up. "Wow Rick that's so messed up she just asked a question." Two things from his response have stuck with me to this day.
1. Rick you will forever be on my Punch In The Face List and
2. That was one of the nicest things a guy has ever done for me.
  The next week we moved seats and sure enough toothpick sat right in front of me.  Quickly I found out he was a jokester, which is bad because I fall so easy for an attractive face with humor.  He would constantly turn around to talk to me every time the teacher turned her back trying to make me laugh in a class that was so dull.  Soon I found out his name was Wes and he was really sweet.  Since we talked all the time and laughed rumors spread like butter on hot toast that we were dating.  We both had our share but I'm extremely defensive so it was easier for people to get me mad.  After a couple of months I started getting really confused about my feelings, til this day I still don't know if I liked him or I thought I did because everyone said so.  The rest of Freshman year in that English class was pure hell because I told one friend that I thought I liked him and she told everyone in the entire class, including Wes.  Ever since then he never looked at me the same, its not like I really blame him he didn't want to lead on the geeky girl who was madly in love with him, even though I don't think I did!! Every year we some how bumped into each other and it was awkward every time because he tried to be nice but I was still mad that he thought I liked him, I guess I was so mad because I felt like he knew me so well that he should have known that I get confused easily and didn't actually like him.  Fast forward to now, senior year of high school right before the Coronation dance, and one of my "best friends" likes Wes.  I don't want people to think I'm still sour towards him because I don't want to bring up the past anymore but I don't like that she likes him.  Its not because I like him its just because.......I really don't know.  Selena asked him to the dance, and of course he said yes to that pretty Latino face of hers.  But not only that, to top it off there officially dating which is.....great.  Selena will never understand, she never was the kind of friend to really understand feelings but I guess I'll have to slap on my fake Miss. America smile and let them think I'm ok with them dating. I know its impossible to turn back time, but if I could turn the clock back just once I wouldn't replace my moms vase I smashed while moon walking in the sixth grade or fix fights with friends, I would turn it back to that Freshman English class and tell a naive little blond girl to talk it out with her best guy friend, because losing that toothpick will be one of the biggest regrets she'll ever have.

Coronation

The timeless dance where girls ask boys is finally upon us.  February 11th is the day of the dance and my best friend Alex, keeping to her promise of moving but coming down for all the dances and big events, has canceled.  Hearing this news and not being very shocked I asked my other close friend who has become my "Dance Buddy" if she even really wanted to go anymore since the third musketeer wouldn't be able to make it.  Sure enough being the super school spirited one she is she still wanted to go.  Since it was just going to be the two of us she wanted us to go with school tradition and ask a boy.  It is slim pickings since there is two girls for every one guy. My school doesn't have many attractive guys and the few that are attractive are, of course, taken or they have so much to do they really don’t have a social life.   So the only choice left would be to ask a guy friend. Katie (The Dance Buddy) has about three guys already lined up to ask, I have zero.  I don’t want to ask just anyone, what’s the point of going to a dance that last four hours and being glued to the side of a guy in your English class that you can only stand not to punch for about three minutes?  I really don’t want to have to punch my "date" that would really kill the romance.  Every day at lunch when I and Katie have time to sit and talk I tell her that I don’t want to ask anyone. At the moment she hasn't budged from her proposal, and I really don’t want to be that friend that kills the party.

Study Hall

Everyday when the clock strikes 10:52 my hour of sitting in a freezing quiet room starts, along with it comes boredom and loneliness.  I'm not sitting here typing because I want you to feel sorry for me, honestly if you want to feel bad for someone feel bad for that poor guy who sits in the seat farthest away from everyone who just sits there, seriously every day I look back and there he is, 5'11ish boy, with brown scruffy hair, and not the best fashion sense sitting alone with only his thoughts to entertain him.  I at least have a school laptop to entertain me, if only they didn't block all the fun websites.  At least they didn't block this one.  I used to have study hall with one of my best friends Alex, we would sit in the silent meat locker and talk about the most random of topics.  Subjects would include such things as annoying people, Merlin, crushes, disgusting things she did with boys, and complain about teachers/popular bimbos.  Now she moved to North Dakota, a state I now learned to be full of attractive tall single guys and plenty of jobs (Actually work not the dirty stuff.)  I decided to fill my time I used to spend with her, typing in this blog because I might as well do something that looks productive so the Study Hall Teacher doesn't yell at me for goggling pictures of hot shirtless guys....again.