More and more these days it has become common for girls to ask guys out. Its a new time, girls are more powerful, being treated like equals more and more everyday. Even though I am a women and I do believe women should have the same benefits in life as men, I don't think girls should ask guys out. Over the decades guys have always asked out girls, evaluation has made the male brain understand on instinct that the man should go after what he wants, and when he gets it, it gives him satisfaction. They like and need the chase. Evaluation is slow, as we all know because none of us can remember our ancestors being monkeys or cave people. Since evaluation works so slow, the male mind still understands the man being the one to ask out the girl. Some of my best friends are guys and I have had to help them out of jams when it came to girls on more then one occasion. All the psycho girls, had asked them out. And this is where I started to develop my theory.
I know that not everyone is the same, not all girls that ask out guys are crazy, more on that later, but the thing that not many people understand is there are things called rules and exceptions, this is what dating is all about. To be successful you need to understand the rule and not pay to much attention to the exception.
The rule in this particular situation is, guy asks out the girl. It does seem old fashion but lets face it, old fashion is in right now, and take a look at old couples most of them seem in love still and they did everything the old fashion way, maybe we should be taking some notes. Like I said before guys ask out the girl, if a guy likes you, and I mean really likes you he will ask you out, the whole "oh he didn't understand my flirting or "I am a strong successful women, I can ask out a man" or even the one that might be my favorite. "He's shy." These are all excuses, not explanations.
When a girl asks out a guy, she feels like she now has the power. The guy thinks he has the power since the girl was desperate enough to ask him out, and that is where the situation gets sticky, and evaluation starts showing through. All guys have to feel like they have the power in a relationship, they may not, but to maintain a healthy relationship he needs to feel like the bread winner. If the women starts to win the bread, where does that leave the man?
Although it might be tempting to be the one to ask out the guy, it just can't be done, maybe in 1,000 years when humans no longer have pinky toes will evaluation let women ask out men, but not now. Upon writing this I asked my brothers and my close guy friends what they thought of girls asking them out?
a lot of them didn't see the problem, they were the ones who have never been asked out by a girl. The others told me what they really thought. They all had the characteristics in common, needy, demanding, clingy, desperate, and above all a feminist bitch.
Although it might seem nice to be powerful and to ask out a guy, don't. If he really likes you, he will ask you out. If he doesn't ask you out, it means he doesn't like you. People these days try to hard to make things happen, to make their own happily ever afters, and that's fine. We all want a happily ever after, but you need to understand that to have a successful relationship, you need to let things happen, it takes two to tango, the guy needs to have some say in what happens too. So just let it happen, and if he doesn't ask you out, don't worry its not the end of the world. It just means he doesn't like you, why would you want to corner a guy into going on a date with you if he doesn't like you? Just pack it up and move on, because you can meet Mr. Right around any corner.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Thanksgiving Can Bring Out the Worst in People.
I am not one for confrontation there are only a few people in this world I actually hate. My best guy friends ex-girlfriend who moved states after they lost their virginity to each other, never telling him, making him super depressed and suicide for months. I also dislike the given people, the people everyone dislikes, Sarah Palin, Paris Hilton, Cowboy fans. The person I dislike the most, the most evil, unmannerly person I have every met before, the recreation of Satan, my brothers girlfriend. I like everyone, well I at least give everyone a chance. I am never rude to someone, until they are rude to me, and do many things that hurt me. As you can see, I try to be nice as possible to limit the amount of fights I get into, but when it comes to my brothers girlfriend, gloves are off, I am ready to go to jail for stabbing her in the neck with a fork, a nice bent, rusty fork. I think my brother knows no one in my family likes her, I mean we make it pretty obvious, and well, he has met her. Everyone knows she is stupid, slutty, has no manners, gets drunk way to much for someone who is 23 and has been drinking way before her 21st birthday. So when he told us he invited her to Thanksgiving dinner, I was to say the least pissed. I told my mom I didn't want to go to Thanksgiving dinner. I told her I was happy just having the left overs late that night, eating cold turkey with the crack of the refrigerator as my only light. Naturally she was upset, and was pissed I would let her get to me. Then she through out the big one, the one all mothers give out to make their kids feel horrible.
"You need to think of your brothers happiness."
Once these words came into my ears I yelled back "HE NEEDS TO THINK OF OUR HAPPINESS!"
Of course this isn't the best thing to yell in a crowded grocery store days before Thanksgiving. But once I yelled it, I didn't care that the old lady squeezing melons was looking at me. Or the short stock boy I used to go to school with gave me a puzzled look. I was right!
Once I got home I really had a chance to cool down, and thought about it again, and I was right. If a person loves you, sure you should try to make an effort to like the person they are "in love with" but they also need to understand that if you don't like them, don't have them constantly over at the house, don't let them "sleep" over when you share walls with your younger brother and sister. Most of all don't invite them to a holiday that is spent with hours at a table together. Of course I caved in and had dinner today with my family and Satan. My mom gets me every time with the crying and the " I just don't know what to do." sniffles. The entire time I sat at the table I didn't look at her once, I didn't look at her when she said there wasn't enough stuffing, that my brother was fat for being at the table first, or rolling her eyes when my dad told us a story about him and my moms wedding. What I thought about while I sat at the table clenching my fork until my knuckles turned white was, if she ever marry's my brother, I will not go to the wedding.
This is something else I learned about dating if your family doesn't like some, they aren't right for you. I can't say it for every ones family, some families don't get along, some have different views, but if you are close to your family, get along and love one another, they really do know what is best for you. That's why before I ever get serious with a boy I am going to bring him home and have him meet my family, and if they don't like him, then I'll have to end it. Even of you think your family doesn't understand the person you are dating. Even if you think they are different around you, they really care about you, they are good for you, just know they aren't. Why would your family want anything bad for you? They just want you to be happy, and for you to be with a person that will stand by you, someone who cares and loves you, who is good for you. I always tell my mom if I ever meet a guy I'm not going to date him if they don't like him, she always says sure, we'll see. Just because she said that, I will bring every guy home for them to meet. But if ever comes down to everyone likes him but my brother I will still date him, and I'll tell my brother I don't care what he thinks, because his taste obviously sucks, and then I will punch his girlfriend in her saggy boobs, at least that's how it goes in my dreams.
"You need to think of your brothers happiness."
Once these words came into my ears I yelled back "HE NEEDS TO THINK OF OUR HAPPINESS!"
Of course this isn't the best thing to yell in a crowded grocery store days before Thanksgiving. But once I yelled it, I didn't care that the old lady squeezing melons was looking at me. Or the short stock boy I used to go to school with gave me a puzzled look. I was right!
Once I got home I really had a chance to cool down, and thought about it again, and I was right. If a person loves you, sure you should try to make an effort to like the person they are "in love with" but they also need to understand that if you don't like them, don't have them constantly over at the house, don't let them "sleep" over when you share walls with your younger brother and sister. Most of all don't invite them to a holiday that is spent with hours at a table together. Of course I caved in and had dinner today with my family and Satan. My mom gets me every time with the crying and the " I just don't know what to do." sniffles. The entire time I sat at the table I didn't look at her once, I didn't look at her when she said there wasn't enough stuffing, that my brother was fat for being at the table first, or rolling her eyes when my dad told us a story about him and my moms wedding. What I thought about while I sat at the table clenching my fork until my knuckles turned white was, if she ever marry's my brother, I will not go to the wedding.
This is something else I learned about dating if your family doesn't like some, they aren't right for you. I can't say it for every ones family, some families don't get along, some have different views, but if you are close to your family, get along and love one another, they really do know what is best for you. That's why before I ever get serious with a boy I am going to bring him home and have him meet my family, and if they don't like him, then I'll have to end it. Even of you think your family doesn't understand the person you are dating. Even if you think they are different around you, they really care about you, they are good for you, just know they aren't. Why would your family want anything bad for you? They just want you to be happy, and for you to be with a person that will stand by you, someone who cares and loves you, who is good for you. I always tell my mom if I ever meet a guy I'm not going to date him if they don't like him, she always says sure, we'll see. Just because she said that, I will bring every guy home for them to meet. But if ever comes down to everyone likes him but my brother I will still date him, and I'll tell my brother I don't care what he thinks, because his taste obviously sucks, and then I will punch his girlfriend in her saggy boobs, at least that's how it goes in my dreams.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Awkward Moment When The Guy You Like Thinks Your Taken
A few years back my best friend gave me a necklace. It had flowers and hearts on it, and when you open it it reads " Girlfriends are the family we pick for ourselves." She gave it to me for being such a great friend. I mentioned how it was actually supposed to be for a boyfriend to give to his girlfriend, she didn't think it did at all. I felt bad not wearing it because it was real silver, she spent a lot of money on it, and she was so happy when she gave it to me. So I wore it, what do I care, it was in small letters anyway so you would have to be close to even read it, plus it was covered by another layer of silver.
Now that you know the back story lets fast forward to today. The guy I like is in my cooking class, and since we sat next to each other we got paired into the same group. There are two girls and two guys in every group. Me and Zack, the guy I like, usually get along so we decided to make the cookie dough and let the other members in our group to do the cookie cutting and decorating. While we were rolling out the dough he kept throwing flour at me, I pushed him away and he saw my necklace. The cover plate of the necklace must have moved because he saw the words.
he asked "What does your necklace say?"
oh crap.....
" oh, um it says girlfriends are the family we pick for ourselves"
"oh, that's cool..... its crazy they can fit all those words on a small necklace, right? haha"
"um, yeah I guess, that is pretty crazy."
That is when he packed off and was distant the rest of class. So just so it doesn't happen to you, don't wear things, or say things that make it seem like you're taken, because the good guys that may like you will back off. So once again I found another way to mess things up. I still will wear the necklace, I grew to like it too much, and now that my best friend has moved away its one of the only things I have left of her. Now I have to do damage control, I should have told him right then and there but I didn't want it to seem like I liked him, but now I feel like its to late to say anything, so I'll just let it go, and see what happens.
Has anyone else had this happen to them? Liked someone who thought you were taken?
Now that you know the back story lets fast forward to today. The guy I like is in my cooking class, and since we sat next to each other we got paired into the same group. There are two girls and two guys in every group. Me and Zack, the guy I like, usually get along so we decided to make the cookie dough and let the other members in our group to do the cookie cutting and decorating. While we were rolling out the dough he kept throwing flour at me, I pushed him away and he saw my necklace. The cover plate of the necklace must have moved because he saw the words.
he asked "What does your necklace say?"
oh crap.....
" oh, um it says girlfriends are the family we pick for ourselves"
"oh, that's cool..... its crazy they can fit all those words on a small necklace, right? haha"
"um, yeah I guess, that is pretty crazy."
That is when he packed off and was distant the rest of class. So just so it doesn't happen to you, don't wear things, or say things that make it seem like you're taken, because the good guys that may like you will back off. So once again I found another way to mess things up. I still will wear the necklace, I grew to like it too much, and now that my best friend has moved away its one of the only things I have left of her. Now I have to do damage control, I should have told him right then and there but I didn't want it to seem like I liked him, but now I feel like its to late to say anything, so I'll just let it go, and see what happens.
 |
| This is what the necklace looks like. |
Has anyone else had this happen to them? Liked someone who thought you were taken?
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Online Dating
I tried an experiment for two months about online dating. And by experiment of course I mean I was bored and I found a free dating app on my iPod. So I created my profile and got a lot of messages, of course all ugly old guys. So I made another profile with all the exact same information but changed my picture, not a lot, not a different person, just me with red hair. I got SO MANY emails from guys, cute. young guys I may add. The part of Arizona I live in is small so some of the guys I went to high school with, which was a laugh but anyway I was shocked at how hair color changed the entire thing. They like how awesome my personality was, of course, but then I really looked into it because a lot of guys were pointing it out. I looked over my chat history with each person and none of them really had gotten to know me yet it was all small talk....Then I realized it was a foul proof plan for guys to compliment a girl, I mean the whole "your beautiful" "you look like an angel" stuff has gotten old and what girl is going to deny they have a great personality? That's a great trait, and it makes it seem like they like you for you not because you put on a water bra. Which I have never done, but it is on my bucket list. I found of course deleted the account about a week ago since some guys were getting really attached and wanted to meet and I didn't want it to become like the movie "Catfish".
The last thing I want to mention is the lesson I learned from the book "He's Just Not That Into You." I decided to give the book a chance since I didn't care for the movie. It really helped me with my advice giving skills. By the way I am this friend:
The last thing I want to mention is the lesson I learned from the book "He's Just Not That Into You." I decided to give the book a chance since I didn't care for the movie. It really helped me with my advice giving skills. By the way I am this friend:
But I am single by choice, not be default. ( I have really high standards) Anyway whenever my friends come to me for advice now I look back at this book, the moral of the book is if you have a question mark over if a guy likes you or not just go with he doesn't. To me its a win win, either he doesn't and you braced yourself for it or he does like you and it made your day. But just remember the rule of thumb if a guy likes you, he will let you know, don't worry he might be shy, he might just not like you, either way if he cares about you enough he will find a way to create the fairy tale.
If you every need help, advice, or an opinion just asked. I would be more then happy to answer it for you. Not because I think I am the master at relationships, or have enough experience to solve every love problem ever its just, I like helping people out with this kind of stuff, and maybe I can't help you, but someone else might read your comment and help out. I would like to view this blog as a support group in a way. So don't be shy. :)
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